Glittering Wind
by YonderBailey
Summary: I never wanted to be famous. Really, I just wanted to hide from everything. Funny how life works. -Yamachi-
1. Prologue: Cold

**I LIVE.**

**And I'm totally expecting hatemail for the year-long hiatus I took… I'm sorry! I moved to a new town, and the inspiration just left me for the longest time. However, it's back with a vengeance! **

**To fans of **_**In the Rough: **_**Yes, there are updates in the somewhat-near future. I still love that story, but I'm going to be working on other projects for the time being. **

**That said, I really hope you'll enjoy what I'm writing now. I've wanted to devote a story to Yamato for the longest time, and I finally have the drive to do so. I'm seriously planning on writing this over his entire life, from kindergarten to midlife crisis. (Haha…) This is not going to be a happy little yaoi story. Just warning you now. **

* * *

**Full Summary****: **The early life of controversial J-Rocker Ishida "Matt" Yamato was far from perfect. Between scrambling to keep up with his schoolwork, looking after his workaholic father, and hiding a near-obsessive love for his best friend, it's a wonder Yamato never went through with his constant suicidal thoughts. (Yamachi-Taiora-Jyoumi-Daikenyako)**  
Rating: **Will change to M eventually, for language, drug use, self-mutilation, and sexual content.**  
****Disclaimer****: **I am earning no profit from writing this fanfiction. I am not affiliated with the _Digimon _franchise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I did, however, create the original characters Kawate Hiroko (oh, boy) and Yuuki.

* * *

Glittering Wind

Prologue

* * *

The days were growing chillier in Tokyo. On her commute from Nerima to Shinagawa, Hiroko found herself hunched over, covering her icy face with mitten-clad hands. The heating system had a glitch that particular morning, and as such, the other Tokyoites aboard the train looked about ready to trek across arctic wilderness.

To Hiroko, it was all worth it. Never in her forty years of living could the journalist have guessed she'd receive an opportunity like this one: to interview Japan's most infamous rock star. He had never allowed other interviews, preferring to keep his private life just that… or at least as private as it could be, with his face constantly plastered on tabloids.

Hiroko smiled, and wiped at her stuffy nose. Yes, the cold was definitely worth an hour with someone as mysterious, as loved, and as hated as Ishida Yamato, the former lead singer of the Wolves.

She nearly jumped out of her parka as the train screeched to a halt.

* * *

Thankfully, it was only a short walk to Ishida's house. Much to Hiroko's surprise, it was a very modest home, no different in any way from the other whitewash duplexes around it. There was an empty, terra cotta pot on the porch, next to a muddy welcome mat and a beat-up pair of running shoes. Nothing at all to suggest a life like Ishida's.

Hiroko glanced down at the address written on the paper in her hands. She wiped a bit of frost off of it and squinted. No, this was it. With a sigh, she raised her fist and rapped upon the door three times.

There was a thundering of footsteps, and then the door swung open. Hiroko hastily moved back to avoid being hit in the face- as was the exuberance of the teenager who had opened it.

"Hi!" the girl chirped. She was very good-looking, in a classical Japanese way, with thick brows and an enormous smile. Her hair was pulled back messily. "Can I help you, ma'am?"

Hiroko blinked. "Ah… yes, thank you. I have an appointment today with Ishida Yamato-san. Is he at home right now?"

The girl nodded energetically. "Mm-hm, yep! You must be Kawate-san. Come on in. I'll go get my dad."

_"O-jama shimasu," _Hiroko murmured respectfully as she stepped inside. She accepted the pair of slippers the young girl offered her and removed her own shoes, then waited patiently by the door.

"Dad!" the girl hollered, disappearing down a hallway. "Dad, Kawate-san's here!"

"Kawate-san?" Hiroko heard the murmur of a deep, silky voice. "Who's that?"

The girl heaved a sigh. "For the _interview, _Dad. Remember? Geez, you're getting senile in your old age!"

Hiroko then picked up on a soft _whap _she assumed to be a playful cuff to the girl's head.

"I'm not old, brat," the male voice chuckled.

There was a sound of shuffling, and then Hiroko sucked in a quick breath as the former idol himself emerged from the hallway, followed by his smiling daughter.

Hiroko hastily performed a bow so deep her nose nearly bumped her knees. _"Ha-hajimemashite! _My name is Kawate Hiroko, with _En-Page. _Thank you so much for granting us an interview!"

Ishida smirked. "Well, apparently you already know me." He bowed anyway. "Ishida Yamato."

_"Yuuki desu!" _the girl chirped, rocking back and forth on her heels. _"Yoroshiku!"_

Hiroko was led to the sofa, where she faced Ishida as he settled into a comfortable-looking armchair. The journalist could not help but wonder how Ishida was just as gorgeous as he had been in his prime, if not moreso. He still had the same bright, catlike eyes, the same Romanesque facial features, and though his hair was no longer its signature bleached-blonde, it still framed his face in layers that were artfully shaggy. He had matured, but there was a telltale glint in his eye that told of a rebel within.

"So," the man started, uncrossing his legs, "where would you like me to begin, Kawate-san?"

Hiroko pulled out her pen and clicked it open, turning to a fresh page in her notebook. "Well, your fans have always wondered about your early years. What exactly shaped Ishida Yamato into the idol you were as a young man, and the very influential activist you are today?"

Ishida raised an eyebrow, then turned to his daughter. "Yuu-chan, would you mind making us some tea? This is going to take a while."

Yuuki rolled her eyes. "'Course not, but I'll probably make a mess."

"Clean it up, then!" Ishida barked after her. The girl laughed and waved him off, going into the kitchen.

Hiroko giggled into her fist. Ishida turned back to the interview, once more with his carefree smirk.

"I guess we'll start at the very beginning, then."

* * *

**Author's Notes**

* * *

**Well, I guess those are already at the top, aren't they? Oh, well.  
**

**Much Love,**

**Tisbee**


	2. Chapter One: Innocence

**All personal notes from yours truly are at the bottom now. :3 What are you waiting for? GET TO READING, FOOL.**

* * *

Glittering Wind

Chapter One

* * *

_Recall when you were innocent_

_The time when you ran without knowing fear_

Antic Café- "Maple Gunman"

* * *

"Yamato!"

Seven months pregnant, Ishida Natsuko shuffled through her small apartment in house-slippers that did little to soothe her aching feet. Goodness… the baby in her belly now was certainly a lot more active than her first son had ever been. Yamato had scarcely budged, which had been worrisome at first. However, Natsuko soon learned that Yamato really didn't move… _ever. _

At least it gave her a pretty good idea where he was now.

"Yama_to," _she hollered, turning a corner to find her son in his favorite spot. There was a small space between the sofa and the big, potted plant that had been a wedding gift from Natsuko's cousin, and it was an ideal hiding spot for a child as thin and quiet as Yamato. The sullen boy was crouched with his knees pulled to his chest, scowling up at his mother as per usual.

With some difficulty, Natsuko managed to squat down to her son's level and fix him with a bemused look. "What are we hiding from today?"

Yamato did not answer, but she hadn't really expected him to. He was a boy of few words and fewer emotions. It was irritating at times, but Natsuko was slowly getting used to it. (Though for the life of her she couldn't figure out which parent he got this odd nature from…)

"The new family in 306 is moving in today," she informed him with a smile. "They have a son who looks your age. Would you like to go and say hello?"

She may as well have asked the sofa. With a sigh, Natsuko gripped her son's scrawny forearm and yanked him up, though he protested mightily.

Natsuko turned a deaf ear to Yamato's cries and forced his shoes on as they stepped out the door. He eventually stopped complaining, though he glared at the concrete like it had just called him a horrible name.

They took the rickety elevator down to the second floor of their apartment complex, where the Yagami family was unloading their furniture from a moving van. The mother, a very petite young woman with large eyes the color of hazelnuts, was playing with her son and laughing. She stood up to greet the newcomers.

_"Hajimemashite," _Natsuko said with a short bow. "We live a few floors up. My name is Ishida Natsuko, and this is my son Yamato."

"Oh, _hajimemashite!" _the younger woman chirped. "I'm Yagami Yuuko. We just moved here from Toshima."

Yuuko's fluffy-haired son stood up on strong little legs, and flashed Natsuko the biggest, toothiest grin she could have imagined on a boy so small.

"I'm Taichi! I'm five and half years old, and my favorite midfielder is Nakamura Shunsuke, even if he didn't go all the way this year." He shrugged loosely.

Natsuko blinked, very unused to a boy as talkative as this one. She could feel Yamato tense and clutch at her leg.

Yuuko looked down at Natsuko's tummy, and her pretty eyes sparkled. "How many months along are you?"

"Seven," Natsuko answered with a blush. "It's going to be another boy, Takeru. I've always wanted to have two sons and name them for Yamatotakeru. It was my favorite story when I was a little girl."

Yuuko clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh, I remember that one!" She patted her own stomach, now a little shy. "I know I won't show for a while, but I just found out last week that I'm pregnant with another little squirt. I'm hoping for a girl this time. You know, one of each."

Natsuko nodded. "Of course. Ah… is your husband around, Yagami-san? I would love to meet him."

The younger woman tensed, and her face fell a little. "… N-no, he's not here right now. He… might… be back later this week, though…"

"Oh, is he away on business?" Natsuko asked innocently.

"… Yes. He is."

Natsuko let the subject drop. "Well, in any case, I hope our children can be friends, Yagami-san."

"So do I!" Yuuko breathed, obviously relieved at the change in topic.

This whole time, neither mother had been paying much attention to their boys.

Yamato eyed the other child distrustfully. Something about him was simply not right, in Yamato's mind. He was too tan, and too loud, and too… warm.

Yes, warm was the best word to describe him. His eyes were more brown than black, and they shone with pure, uncomplicated friendliness. He was wearing shorts and a soccer jersey that was a very bright red- too bright.

Taichi turned his big smile on Yamato, who recoiled a little. That smile made him feel very uncomfortable. He wasn't used to people who were so… different from himself. It was like meeting his polar opposite.

"Hi," Taichi said. "Do you like soccer?"

Yamato shook his head. Taichi looked aghast.

"You _don't?" _Yamato shook his head again. "Then… what the heck do you do for fun?"

The pale boy shrugged. Usually he just watched television. He liked watching the music shows with his mother, and listening to her commentary.

"Well…" Taichi scratched at his mess of soft, fluffy hair. "Do you play any video games? I just got the new _Digimon World. _It's okay. I already beat it."

He looked very proud. Yamato couldn't help but mutter a quiet "That's cool." Taichi seemed happy with this, and moved a little closer.

"D-do you wanna play with me?" Taichi looked back at his mother. "Mama, is it okay if I play with Yamato?"

Yuuko beamed. "If it's alright with his mother."

Frankly, Natsuko was shocked that Yamato had spoken a word to another human being, let alone _two _words… and it was _praise _he had given the other boy! This was definitely a vast improvement.

"It's more than fine with me," she said. "Yamato, can you be back before it gets dark? And just play around the apartments, okay? Don't go out the gate."

Yamato nodded, and Taichi pulled him away. "We won't, Ishida-san!" the mini-athlete hollered. "_Sankyuu!"_

Natsuko shook her head in amazement, watching the two boys hurry away. She turned to Yuuko.

"I've never seen Yamato accept anyone that quickly," she murmured.

Yuuko laughed. "My Taichi is a little… exuberant, I suppose. He loves making new friends. Does Yamato-kun go to kindergarten?"

"Yes, at Satsuki."

"Oh, good," Yuuko said. "That's where I was thinking of enrolling Taichi. One of my friends is a teacher there- do you know Nagano Masami?"

The two women continued to chat, eventually going inside for a cup of tea.

* * *

Taichi, it turned out, was very fast. By the time Yamato reached the top of the hill near the edge of the apartment complex, panting hard, Taichi was already up and over.

"S-slow down!" Yamato gasped.

The darker boy looked over his shoulder and suddenly realized that the other had been left behind.

"Sorry," Taichi apologized sheepishly after Yamato had caught up. "I like running."

"Well, I don't," Yamato snapped. He plopped down onto the fresh grass, picking at it moodily. Taichi quietly sat beside him.

After they caught their breath, Taichi was yammering again.

"So, I guess we're both gonna be big brothers soon, huh? I'm really excited. I hope my little sister is fun. At least, I think it's gonna be a sister. Mama wants to have a girl and a boy. You're getting a baby brother, right?"

Yamato nodded. He began threading strands of grass together, never saying a word. Taichi talked more than enough for the both of them anyway.

"Ne, ne, Yamato! I wanna be the best soccer player ever! That's why I run so much, y'know? I hafta be fast if I wanna be the best! I'm gonna play for Celtic someday, just like Nakamura-sama. Mama says that I'm really good, and that as soon as I turn six, I can join a team here in Odaiba! You wanna be on a team with me?"

"I don't play soccer," Yamato mumbled. He braided another piece of grass into the slender rope he was making. "I told you that, dummy."

Taichi scowled terrifically. "Don't call me a dummy. At least I'm not white like a girl ghost!"

Yamato nearly dropped the chain. "What?!"

"Yeah!" Taichi nearly yelled. "Like Sadako-san from _Ringu! _She was all pale and stuff too! Do you come out of a TV like Sadako-san?!"

Utterly baffled, Yamato shook his head. "What're you _talking _about?"

"It's… she… never mind." Taichi sighed and slumped. "You're so weird. You don't like soccer and you don't watch scary movies. I guess it's good you have a cool friend like me now, huh?"

Yamato scoffed. "We're not friends. I don't _have _any friends. I don't like people."

The tan boy frowned. "Really? But… you _are _a people. I mean, a person."

"I don't… like myself, either," Yamato said so quietly that Taichi had to strain to hear it.

"Well, _I _like you," Taichi said. "In fact, you're my friend now, and I don't care if you don't wanna be. I'm _making _you."

"You're _making _me be your friend?" Yamato asked skeptically.

"Mm-hm, yep."

Taichi stood up, and stretched his arms high. "Sun's goin' down. We should go back before my mom yells at me. Does your mom yell at you too, Yamato?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes."

They walked back in silence. Well, Yamato did. Taichi was having an intense, one-sided discussion about airplanes and how they could fly.

"I wanna fly too," Taichi said. "It'd be like… _byoooooom! _And I'd be all awesome and made of metal and stuff."

The strange pair reached Taichi's apartment, to find that the movers had finished up and left. Taichi turned to his friend with another large grin.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Yamato nodded shortly. In his pocket, he fingered the braided loop of grass he had woven. As Taichi turned to go, he could not help but stop him.

"H-hold on…"

Taichi raised his eyebrows. Flushing a berry shade of red, Yamato pulled the grass loop out and pressed it into the other boy's hand.

"Take it," he muttered. "It's stupid, and girly, but I made it, and… ah…"

Taichi's head was cocked to the side for a moment, and then he split into the biggest smile yet.

"Hey, thanks!" He slipped it over his hand, observing the pale green-brown against his caramel-colored skin.

Yamato hurried to the elevator before Taichi could say anything else.

* * *

_"Taidama," _the pale boy called out quietly, stepping into his house.

His father, a large, strong man named Hiroaki, was reclining on the sofa with the day's newspaper opened to the sports section. _"Okaeri, _Yamato," he replied cheerily. "Your mother tells me you made a friend today."

Yamato raised and lowered one shoulder. He went to his room and lay down on his bed, facing the wall.

Slowly, miraculously, a tiny smile found its way to his lips. Someone _liked _him, and not because they were in his family. Someone… wanted to be his…

… _friend._

* * *

_Hiroko's pen scribbled away busily. "So… you grew up in Hikarigaoka?" _

_"Until my parents divorced," Ishida replied evenly. "I lived there until I was about seven."_

_"You said that it was there that you first met Whitehawks striker Yagami Taichi? When you were… five years old?"_

_Ishida nodded. "Yeah. He asked me if I came out of the television like Sadako from _Ringu. _And I made him a bracelet out of dead grass."_

_"… I'm sorry, what?" _

* * *

As Natsuko raised her fist to knock upon Yamato's bedroom door, she braced herself for the same ritualistic defiance she experienced every weekday morning.

"Yamato…" _Knock, knock. _"It's time to get ready for scho--"

_WHAM. _The door flew open with such force that Natsuko stumbled back as few steps. Much to her surprise, Yamato stood there, his black _randoseru _backpack already fastened and slung over his shoulder. The scowl was definitely still there, but today it was… not quite as venomous.

"Yamato?" Natsuko reached out to touch his hair, as if this boy was an illusion. "Are you… feeling alright, honey?"

"Yeah," the boy mumbled, and walked right past her into the kitchen. He set his backpack down and took his seat, then began nibbling on eggs and rice after a quiet _"Itadakimasu." _

Natsuko watched this in awe. Who was this child, and what had he done with her son? Yamato _never _got ready for school by himself. Usually Natsuko had to call Hiroaki in to hold the boy down while she forced pants and a shirt on the enraged, flailing little miscreant. And even then, he would sometimes change right back into his pajamas and attempt to hide under his bed. He was just about as antisocial as a kid could get.

Slowly, Natsuko sat in the chair across from her son, and watched him drink his juice. He didn't… _look _any different, except maybe… wait…

"Did you comb your hair?" Natsuko asked blankly.

Yamato froze. He put his glass down and fixed her with a look that was too calm to be appropriate for a five-year-old boy. "Maybe."

"Ah…" Honestly, she didn't know how much more of this her heart could take. "And… you washed your face."

"… Maybe. So?"

Natsuko shook her head in amazement. She was about to reach for a bowl, when Yamato blurted out a sentence so fast and jumbled it was impossible to decipher.

"I'm sorry, dear. What was that?"

Yamato glared at his chopsticks resolutely, before he took a deep breath and ground out, "I asked… if Ta—I mean, that kid… y'know, the one who just moved here… I was just wondering… if he's gonna go to my kindergarten. 'Cuz he said he might, and… it's not like I really care or anything… but…"

Oh. _Oh. _Natsuko could not resist indulging in a small grin. "I see. Is that why you got up early?"

"No. I just--"

"And you fixed yourself up to look nice for your new friend?"

"He's not my friend. I don't _have _friends."

Natsuko beamed at her son. "Yamato, I'm so proud of you. And, yes, Taichi-kun is enrolled at your kindergarten."

Yamato's small body relaxed visibly at this news, and he ate a little more quickly. "Does… does he take the train?"

"No, his mother drives him, like I drive you." His shoulders slumped again, so Natsuko quickly added, "But Yagami-san mentioned carpooling when we spoke yesterday. Since she works in the morning, I offered to take Taichi-kun to school when I drive you. Would you like that?"

The boy's mouth opened, then immediately snapped shut again. He looked away. "I don't know. It doesn't matter to me."

It obviously did. Natsuko didn't quite understand what it was about Taichi that made Yamato perform this huge jump out of character, but whatever it was, she appreciated it.

* * *

_"Ohayou, _Yamato-kun!" Nagano-sensei greeted her quietest student as he entered. As usual, she was ignored, but this time it was because Yamato was in a hurry.

The kindergarten teacher blinked. Odd.

The pale boy darted right by her and removed his backpack and shoes with lightning speed. In his haste, he nearly put on another boy's indoor shoes_, _but realized his mistake before anyone could correct him.

And then he was still, scanning over the room with his sharp little eyes. He took his normal seat, and continued his strange, silent observation.

Nagano-sensei shrugged off this behavior. That Ishida kid was a weird one, after all. He had once punched another student in the nose for "looking at him funny." Most five-year-olds liked puppet shows and cartoons. Yamato? He enjoyed Beethoven.

"Everyone!" Nagano-sensei addressed her class as soon as the bell rang. A few late arrivals scrambled into their chairs, and the chatter died down. "I have an announcement! Today we have a new student joining us, so please make him feel welcome."

She went to open the door and usher young Taichi in. The fluffy-haired boy entered almost _jauntily, _in a new but similar soccer jersey and the same giant, goofy smile that made Yamato experience a pleasant sort of nervousness.

"I'm Yagami Taichi," he introduced with a short, clumsy bow. "This morning, I was eating breakfast, and I found a bug in my miso soup. Isn't that weird? I told Mama, but she said that it was okay if I just threw it away. But _what _if it had laid _eggs _in my soup? I don't _like_ eggs, especially not from a yucky fly. But I ate the soup anyway, and now I might have bug eggs in my stomach!" He paused, as if remembering something. "Oh, yeah. _Yoroshiku." _

The class was silent. Taichi noticed his quiet friend and waved cheerily. "Hi, Yamato! Sensei, can I go sit by Yamato? Please?"

"Um…" Nagano-sensei scratched the back of her head. "Yes, that's fine."

Taichi dropped into the chair next to his friend and graced him with his smile, nudging him lightly. "Ne, ne, isn't this awesome? I toldja I would be here."

Yamato nodded. He felt so confused and out of his element. Didn't he hate people? They were loud and stupid. This boy was certainly loud and stupid, too… but he was just so warm. Yamato could feel the heat radiating from his body, and his brown eyes were bright with joy.

Subconsciously, Yamato scooted a little closer. He pulled out his construction paper and crayons as Nagano-sensei began the day's instruction. They would be drawing their favorite animal as a part of the lesson.

Yamato frowned. His favorite animal? He didn't really like animals all that much. Apparently, Taichi did, if his enthusiastic, orange scribbling was anything to go by.

"It's a dinosaur," he told his friend excitedly. "See? It's like… _gaaaaaoooo! _I love dinosaurs. I wish I was a dinosaur."

In all frankness, the so-called dinosaur looked more like a bowl of orange spaghetti, but Yamato was in no position to critique others' artistic skills, seeing as his own paper was blank.

"C'mon, Yamato," Taichi urged. "You hafta like _one _animal."

Still frowning, Yamato tapped his cobalt-blue crayon against the desk. "I dunno."

"A wolf."

Yamato glanced up in surprise. "What?"

The darker boy nodded solemnly. "I think you should draw a wolf. You kinda remind me of one, y'know. Because you're all growly and bitey, but you're also really cool. Plus," he ruffled Yamato's hair before the other boy could protest, "you have soft hair, like a wolf's fur. So you should draw a wolf. The end."

Yamato smoothed his hair back down, slightly pink in the face. Only his mom was allowed to touch his hair, and then only when he allowed it.

"'Kay," he muttered.

Within five minutes, he had drawn a wolf, and it wasn't half bad.

"Whoo," Taichi whistled. "You're a good drawer, Yamato. Can I keep it?"

"Can you keep what?" Yamato asked faintly. He had grown rather fond of the wolf on the paper.

"Your drawing. You can have mine."

Taichi thrust his own work of art at Yamato, who sneered. "Who says I want your drawing? It's not as good as mine."

In the lull that followed, Taichi lowered his hand, and the smile fell a few watts. "Oh." And then the smile was gone. "Oh, okay. That's fine. Sorry."

Unexplained terror gripped Yamato for a moment. _No, no, don't stop smiling. Please don't stop smiling, Taichi. _

"Here," he grunted. He switched their papers without another word, and then felt relief wash over him as Taichi's smile returned full-force. It was _his _smile, Yamato decided. He only wanted that smile directed at _him. _

So, when Taichi smiled at the little girl in the seat in front of them, and she blushed and giggled, Yamato felt no remorse in kicking her chair roughly. She yelped, but didn't turn around again after that.

For the next few hours, they sang songs and watched a video about train safety. Taichi participated in every activity, eagerly volunteering to dress up like the "stranger" when Nagano-sensei had them perform a short, audience-participation skit. Yamato watched from the back row, hunched over, arms crossed.

_I don't like people, _Yamato decided then and there, _except Mom, and Dad… and… Taichi. Three people is enough._

* * *

But then, three weeks later, another person entered Yamato's inner circle, and he had absolutely no say in the matter.

He waited in the hospital lobby with his anxious father for too many hours, listening to classical music on his mother's CD player and staring at the carpet. Finally, a doctor came to get them after offering sincere congratulations.

Baby Takeru wasn't very pretty. He was kind of wrinkly and red, and he wouldn't stop crying. Yamato didn't understand what the big deal was. Why were all the nurses cooing and fussing over something so unattractive? Yamato was just a kid, and he could think of a thousand things that were nicer. _The orchestra on TV. Apple juice. Taichi's smile. My favorite black shirt. _

Natsuko was weary, but she mustered up a gentle look and gestured for Yamato to shuffle a little closer. She held out the newborn for him to examine more closely.

No, Takeru was just as ugly up close. Yamato's upper lip curled a little. Why wouldn't the baby stop crying? _You're out, already, _he wanted to snap. _So be quiet. You're overreacting. I bet _I _didn't cry this much. _

Then… Takeru quieted. He opened his big, watery eyes and observed his older brother. Yamato stared right back. The adults in the room began whispering as Takeru reached out with his chubby little hands, taking Yamato's index finger in a viselike grip.

The older boy raised an eyebrow.

"Takeru," Natsuko whispered, "this is your very own _oniichan. _His name is Yamato. He'll take care of you."

Yamato looked to his mother in shock. Him, take care of another person? But he _didn't. like. people. _Why didn't anyone understand that?

A nurse took Takeru away to be cleaned, and Natsuko fell into a deep sleep. Her husband sat by her side with pride evident on his face. He grinned and patted Yamato on the head, then turned back to Natsuko with a sigh. "Good job, sweetie. He's beautiful."

Again, Yamato called up a myriad of things he thought were 'beautiful,' and wailing, slobbering babies were definitely not one of them.

But Takeru was… okay. As far as ugly babies went. Maybe liking four people still wasn't pushing it, he figured.

Yamato retreated into a corner of the room. It wasn't as secure as his corner at home, but it would do. He put his earphones back on and relaxed, narrowing his eyes.

So… he was a big brother now. Soon Taichi would be a big brother too. It would probably be the first thing had in common.

_Why…? _He could not stop thinking about the other boy. Taichi was so obnoxious. He could yammer on forever about something as insignificant as what had been on television the previous evening (since Yamato didn't watch anime), and he was so… open. He laughed uproariously at jokes that weren't that funny, and Yamato once witnessed him burst into tears over a cat that had been hit by a car.

_"It's just a cat," _Yamato had muttered.

_"Yeah, but he might have had a family," _Taichi wept in reply. _"I'll bet he had people who loved him, and now they're out looking for him. What if Miko was hit by a car? I'd be so sad." _

Miko was Taichi's stupid cat. In the few times Yamato had been to Taichi's much smaller, humbler apartment, the cat would not leave him _alone. _It would purr and rub its soft head against Yamato's knees until he acknowledged it, usually with a short "Go away, _baka neko." _

The cat loved unconditionally, just like its owners. Maybe that was why Taichi loved the dumb animal so much. He fed it food from his own plate, for crying out loud.

Yamato turned the volume down on his CD player enough that he could hear his parents murmuring to each other in low voices. They looked so peaceful, cradling their new little bundle of joy.

_Good, _Yamato decided. _Now you guys can pay attention to Takeru, and I can finally be by myself. _

* * *

They arrived back home the next day, their house filled with presents from Natsuko's baby shower. Yamato practically had to wade through a sea of diapers and baby formula to reach his bedroom. Once there, he shut the door and turned around.

"Hey, Yamato!"

_"KYAA!"_

Yamato nearly had a heart attack. Taichi sat crisscross on his bed, rocking back and forth and looking for all the world like he belonged there. He grinned that silly grin and leaned forward.

"Yowch, you okay? Sorry. My mom's out front, talkin' to your mom. She wanted to see the new baby. Mama's a sucker for babies."

Yamato nodded, still a little dizzy. One did not usually expect to come home to a Taichi on one's bed.

"Your room's really clean," Taichi said suddenly. He was gazing around in awe. The walls in Yamato's bedroom were painted navy blue, and all of the boy's belongings were neatly organized.

"So?" Yamato grumbled. He shook his head to clear it, and then moved to sit beside his friend. He was about to open his mouth and speak again, when Taichi's mother called for him.

"Taichi…" she hollered. "C'mon- I need to get started on dinner! I'm making curry tonight!"

Taichi made a face.

"You don't like curry?" Yamato inquired.

"Nah… I like it…" Taichi rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. (Yamato was beginning to learn that it was a habit of his.) "It's just that Mama's a _terrible _cook."

Seeing as Natsuko could whip up a meal that would put a five-star restaurant to shame in twenty minutes, Yamato couldn't really sympathize.

"Well… _ja ne, _Yamato!" Taichi chirped.

_"Ja," _Yamato murmured.

His face felt hot again. That was really getting irritating.

* * *

_"Ironically enough," Ishida mused, leaning back in his chair, "it was Taichi who had an abusive home life, not me. My parents were actually fairly stable."_

_Hiroko was startled. "Yagami-san… was abused?" _

_"Yeah… I guess you could call it that. Stupid moron would never have breathed a word of it, though, because it would 'inconvenience' others… but I always knew." _

* * *

_"You need HELP, Susumu!"_

Yamato jolted awake at the echoing scream, eyes dilated in the pitch blackness of his room. His digital alarm clock informed him that it was half an hour after midnight, and yet there was something going on downstairs.

The quiet boy slipped out of bed and snuck past his parents' room, where both were still sound asleep with the baby nestled between them. Probably savoring the small amount of time Takeru _would _be sleeping peacefully…

Yamato crept to the window that gave him a view of the parking lot, and silently cracked a space between the blinds for him to peek through.

From four stories up, Yamato could still make out the figure of Yagami Yuuko, and she was struggling madly to break away from the grip of a large man in a brown coat. He was swaying where he stood, looking about ready to topple over.

He was saying something, and Yuuko let out another disgusted scream. Yamato couldn't help but notice that she was in her nightgown, her long hair tousled from sleep. She had obviously just woken up.

_"Get the hell out of here!" _the woman wailed, thrashing more violently than ever.

The man bellowed something about _"my son" _and a few other bad words that made Yamato raise an eyebrow. Who was this man, and why was he hurting Taichi's mom?

_"He's barely your son anymore!" _Yuuko shrieked. He cries bounced and echoed off the walls of Hikarigaoka.

The man pulled back his free hand, and Yamato clenched his teeth as Yuuko was smacked across the mouth.

And then there was a knock on the door, so quiet Yamato almost missed it. He pulled himself away from the window, shocked and very afraid.

The knocking persisted, weak and growing weaker.

_"Ya… Yamato?" _a very familiar voice called out.

"Taichi?" Yamato croaked. He rushed to the door and stood on tiptoe to unlock it pull it open. He stood faced with his only friend, but it was a disturbing sight.

Yagami Taichi was not smiling. His eyes were darker than usual, defeated. He was looking a little peaky, dressed in mismatched pajamas and clutching… his cat. His _stupid _cat.

"I'm sorry," the darker boy said immediately. "Can… can I please stay here, just for tonight? We don't have to go to kindergarten tomorrow…"

"We don't?" Yamato asked faintly.

Taichi shook his head. "It's Greenery Day."

"Oh…"

The boys were silent, and Miko let out a small _'Nyaan?" _of inquiry.

Suddenly, Yamato's father slunk out of his own bedroom, rubbing at his tired eyes.

"Ya—_yawn_—mato, what the heck are you doing? Your mother needs her sleep, and you've got the front _door… _open…" He blinked, suddenly awake. "Taichi-kun?"

"I'm so sorry," Taichi stammered again, throwing a bow that almost made him lose his cat. "Dad came home, a-a-an' Mama told me to come here…"

Understanding washed over Hiroaki's chiseled features, immediately followed by horror. "Oh, God… Taichi-kun, you're welcome to stay here."

"I brought Miko," the boy mumbled. "Is that okay, Ishida-san? She doesn't shed, an' I can't sleep without her…"

"That's fine," the man said. "Just keep her away from Natsuko. She's allergic to cats."

"I will," Taichi assured him hastily, and mad a mad dash for Yamato's room.

Hiroaki looked to his oldest son, very concerned. "Yamato… is Taichi-kun's father…?" His sentence trailed off.

Yamato didn't answer; he just followed Taichi into his room, where the fluffy-haired boy was already making himself a bed on the floor with a few pillows and a quilt Yamato's grandmother had given him.

"You can sleep in the bed with me," Yamato mumbled, looking resolutely at the ground. "I don't care."

Taichi looked at the other boy in shock. "R-really?"

Soon enough, the two friends lay facing each other, the cream-colored ball of fur that was Miko curled between them. Taichi stroked the cat's back absently, and bit his lip.

"I saw your dad hit your mom," Yamato whispered. In the other room, he could hear his parents conversing in low voices, and he didn't want them to know he and Taichi were still awake.

Taichi winced.

"Why?" Yamato pushed.

"He…" Taichi closed his eyes and turned over on his back, pulling Miko up onto his stomach. "I dunno. Dad used to be real nice. He took me to soccer games all the time. But then he turned mean and shout-y, and Mama and I had to leave. Mama says that he has to get help, and it's not good for him to be with us until he's better." He furrowed his brow. "I didn't know my dad was sick, but I trust Mama, and I want my dad back soon."

Yamato nodded, even though he didn't understand.

They drifted asleep soon, lulled by the sounds of barking dogs and approaching police sirens.

_I don't want Taichi to be sad, _Yamato thought blearily during his last waking moments. _I always want him to be happy. Even if it hurts me, I will always make Taichi happy first._

He gently touched his friend's messy hair, and Taichi shifted a little. Miko meowed again.

_Because… I like Taichi more than anyone else._

* * *

**Author's Notes **

* * *

**(-frown-) That last line probably would have sounded better in Japanese. **

**-Do you guys know how **_**impossible **_**it is to write five-year-olds realistically? I mean, Yamato is an unusually smart and intuitive child, and Taichi's just a freaking spazz, but their dialogue still strikes me as a little too advanced for kindergartners. I'm also a little concerned about the rapid pace this fic is moving at… It's necessary, though, because most of the major events in Yamato's life will occur in junior high and high school, so I'm trying to hurry along to that point. The early years are really just exposition. (Oh, and for those who don't know- in Japan it's not mandatory for kids to attend kindergarten, but if they do it's from ages three to six.) **

**-As for this story's title… well, I hope you would've figured out it's from the original Japanese opening. ****Y'know- **_**"Mugendai na yume no ato no… nani mo nai yo naka ja…" **_**The one about the butterfly. And… courage… and dreams and stuff. (I totally just sang that verse out loud, and I'm in the computer lab right now. It was very awkward. There's a freshman girl staring at me. Yeah, you turn back around. Go back to checking your MySpace, noob. I have Digimon fanfiction to write.)**

* * *

**Replies to Reviewers**

* * *

**Taichi-Yamato4ever: **(-receives the glomp quite merrily-) Yaaaaay, you remember me! I promise I'll eventually update ITR, but like I said, it may be awhile. In response to your daughter-related wonderings… all in good time. I'll tell you now that it's not m-preg (unfortunately?), but Yuuki's entrance into the world still wasn't exactly… normal. Love ya, girlie! Keep reviewing! Don't lose faith in me now!

**DIGI-GIRL 4 12 20 24!!: **I'll sure as peas try! XD Thanks for the review!

**KoumiLoccness: **OH MY GOD, IT'S JYOURAKOUMI. (-dies-) Judging by your new name, I'm guessing you were reported and banned? Eh, probably wasn't your first time. I wish I had words of condolence for you, my strange, silly friend. If it helps, you are still an endless source of amusement to me. No matter how hilariously deranged your reviews are, they still count, and that makes me so happy. Oh, and guess what! This story is _not _going to be Kou/Mimi! Like… at _all! _Isn't that _GREAT? _Ahahahaha! (-wipes tear-) Whoo… I swear, this will _never _get old, man…

**Much Love,  
Tisbee**


	3. Chapter Two: Feelings

"_Would you mind if we took a short break, Kawate-san?" _

_Hiroko nodded, putting her pen and paper away quickly. "Of course not! My hand was beginning to get tired anyway." _

_The three had already finished their tea, and Yuuki was now reclined on the loveseat with her legs pulled up beside her. She held a volume of manga in one hand and a half-eaten cookie in the other. Upon further examining the cover, Hiroko realized with a small gasp of surprise that it was a rather explicit boys' love novel._

_Ishida seemed to notice her scandalized look, and fixed his daughter with a scowl. "Yuuki, don't read that garbage in front of guests." _

_Yuuki raised an eyebrow, turning a page. "Why not?"_

_"It's disgustingly inaccurate."_

_"But sparkly little ukes are so cute." _

_The telephone rang, interrupting their argument. Heaving a melodramatic sigh, Yuuki went to answer it. _

_"We can continue whenever you're ready," Ishida said._

_Hiroko clicked her pen back open, but was cut off by Yuuki._

_"Dad," the girl hollered, "it's Mimi-rin. She wants to know if you're still coming to Kazuki-kun's birthday party." _

_"Tell her I'll be there," Ishida called back._

_"'Kay."_

_A few moments later, Yuuki came back into the living room. "Alright, Dad, continue on with the big bucket of angst that is your childhood." _

_Ishida sighed. _

* * *

Glittering Wind

Chapter Two

* * *

_Mom, please tell me_

_If I become an adult, will I be happy?_

_Teacher, please tell me_

_Where will I go from here? _

Awoi- "Kodomo no Uta"

* * *

Yamato's seventh Christmas came without much snow, unfortunately.

Now, the quiet boy had never really been one to get excited about holidays. His past birthdays had usually lacked a real party, and just involved his family (and more recently the Yagamis) desperately trying to get him enthusiastic about opening presents, when he really just wanted to sleep.

His parents loved Christmas. This year they went all out, purchasing a _real _tree (incredibly rare for a Japanese family) and a Christmas cake that was large and grand enough to easily feed ten people.

Which was why Natsuko took the liberty of inviting the Yagami family over for their Christmas dinner. It was only natural, as their sons were inseparable. Natsuko and Yuuko, too, had become rather good friends.

"Merry Christmas!" Yuuko squealed, entering the Ishida household with a platter of decorated biscuits. Taichi followed her, grinning from ear to ear. He was practically dragging his baby sister, Hikari, with one arm, and in the other arm he clutched a couple of gift-wrapped boxes like they were precious cargo.

Natsuko rushed to help her friend set the cookies down, and then hugged her. "Merry Christmas, Yuuko-san! Oh, Hikari-chan, you look so cute."

The toddler giggled and began sucking her thumb shyly. Her mother had combed what little hair she had up into a Christmas-colored bow, and her dress was red-and-green as well, with a reindeer pattern along the hems.

"Say 'thank you', Hikari," Yuuko whispered.

_"A-ri-ga-to-o," _Hikari slurred around her thumb.

Natsuko gestured behind her. "Takeru's in his room playing. I'm sure he'd love to have Hikari-chan's company, Yuuko-san."

Yuuko nodded fervently. "Oh, of course." She knelt down to her daughter's level. "Hikari-chan, would you like to go play with Takeru-kun?"

The toddler smiled and allowed her mother to lead her back to Takeru's room. The others could hear a cry of delight as the two little friends reunited.

While the grownups gathered in the kitchen to begin setting up the dinner, Taichi pulled Yamato to the side.

"I gotcha a present!" Taichi said happily, and pushed a package wrapped in candy cane-printed paper into Yamato's arms.

Yamato's cheeks flushed. "I didn't get you anything, though… I didn't know you were gonna…"

"It's okay," Taichi chirped. He looked about ready to explode with anticipation. "Open it, open it, open it!"

Still a little pink-faced, Yamato methodically began peeling the wrapping off, soon revealing a rectangular box. It was made of dark, lacquered wood that Yamato could see his reflection in.

"Open the box now!" Taichi hissed, jumping up and down in one place and scaring his friend a little. "Open the _box, _Yamato!"

Hurrying so as not to give Taichi a heart attack, Yamato cracked the pretty box open, and gasped.

Nestled on a bed of soft, blue material was a brass harmonica, polished to a mirror-shine that rivaled that of the box it rested in.

At Yamato's awed silence, Taichi stopped bouncing a little. "You… you don't like it?"

Immediately, Yamato hugged the box to his chest as if afraid Taichi would try to take it back. "I love it."

"Oh, that's good," Taichi breathed in relief. "'Cuz, y'know, you really like music, an' you're always listening to it, an' I just thought you would want to actually _play _your _own _music! So I asked Mama to take me to the music store, an' everything was really expensive, but when I saw that thing--"

Yamato cut Taichi off by pulling him into a fierce, unexpected hug. Taichi was so shocked he almost screamed.

"Waah! Yamato, you okay?"

"I'm okay," Yamato muttered into his friend's shoulder. He held Taichi tight, just as tight as the harmonica was clutched in his hand. "Thank you so much."

"Y-you're welcome," Taichi said hesitantly, and then patted Yamato on the back. "Now lemme go so I can give your brother his present."

Yamato didn't let Taichi go for another twenty seconds or so, and then he behaved as if it had never happened. He retreated to the sofa and gazed at the harmonica in fascination, turning it over and over in his hands. His mind reeled.

_I've always wanted to play music. _The blush returned to his pale cheeks. _Taichi knew that. He knows me- better than Mom does, even. And…_

He dropped his head a little, very embarrassed. _And he feels just as warm as I thought he would._

Taichi got little Takeru a toy soccer ball, which the toddler immediately began slobbering all over. His gift for his own baby sister was a shiny silver whistle. Hikari didn't stop whistling shrilly for the entire evening, but everybody was too wrapped up in the spirit of the holiday to care.

"Dad," Yamato piped up as they tucked into the festive chicken dinner, "isn't Christmas a Christian holiday?"

"Yes," Hiroaki said slowly.

"So… why do we celebrate it…?"

"'Cuz it's fun," Taichi said through a mouthful of rice. He swallowed. "Don't you think it's fun?"

Yamato looked at his knees. "Yeah, it's fun…"

* * *

That night, Yamato drowned out the sound of his parents' quiet arguing with his new harmonica.

Taichi hadn't bothered to buy him any sort of instructional booklet, so Yamato just sat and tinkered around for a little while, experimenting with the different sounds the instrument made. It produced a low, beautifully scratchy noise that stirred Yamato's heart.

_"… you care so little about your _first _son…"_

_"I _love _Yamato!"_

_"He always takes second seat to Takeru! You play favorites, Natsuko!"_

_"Of course I don't!"_

Yamato blew another long, hoarse note, concentrating so hard on his self-education that he could almost ignore the hot tears welling up in his eyes.

_"What did you do for Yamato's birthday?"_

_"I…"_

_"Nothing! For Takeru's?"_

_"That's not--"_

_"The carnival, Natsuko! With _all _of your relatives!"_

His parents always tried to be quiet when they fought, doing so behind closed doors, away from Yamato and Takeru. But, as was always the case, Yamato heard every word. Every hard, hurtful word.

_"I never realized how shallow you were!"_

_"Hiroaki, I am _not _shallow! If anyone here is shallow, it's the man who used to chase that little tramp around his office, even when he was _already engaged!"

Yamato clenched his eyes shut, forcing the tears to go away. It didn't work. They trickled down his cheeks, making his face blotchy. His amateurish harmonica-playing was absolutely horrible, but it could almost, almost, almost keep the noise away.

_"You favor Takeru!"_

_"I… Yamato looks at me like he hates me!"_

"I do not…" Yamato whimpered, pulling the harmonica away for a brief moment. He choked on saliva. "I do n-not!"

_"You can't push your own son away like you push me away, Natsuko! You've told me that you don't love me anymore, but think about your children! You're killing Yamato!"_

_"That boy has no emotion at _all!"

_"I think that's _your _problem! Don't point fingers at a seven-year-old when the real issue is your cold attitude towards anyone who doesn't bend to your every whim!" _

Yamato released a harsh, silent scream and hurled the brass instrument across his room, burying his face in a pillow. He scraped his throat raw with a long wail at the injustice of it all, but the sound was muffled.

_Why did they even _get _married?! Why do adults get married, if they're just gonna give up?! Taichi's dad even—_

"Taichi," Yamato whispered. A look of horror was slapped across his face. He abandoned the pillow and rushed to locate the harmonica he had thrown.

It was unbroken, though there was now a shallow scratch on its once pristine surface.

The tears returned full-force.

_Taichi… _Yamato cradled the harmonica lovingly. _I'm so sorry… I almost broke it… I almost broke the wonderful present you gave me… when I haven't ever given you _anything…

Taichi was probably opening more presents with his mother and sister at that moment, gleeful at some new soccer-related item he would surely dirty or break in a week's time. There was no way Taichi was thinking of Yamato, when he had such a wonderful life. When he loved… everything and everyone.

_Taichi probably doesn't love me, _Yamato realized. _If my own mother doesn't love me, why should someone as wonderful as Yagami Taichi care? _

After carefully placing the harmonica back on the shelf, Yamato hurried past the door of his parents' bedroom, hands clamped firmly over his ears. A few words still got through.

_"… leave… house…"_

_"Why… bastard… I wouldn't…"_

_"Takeru… you…"_

_"How could… upset…"_

Yamato reached the living room. As the time was nearing midnight, it was eerily silent, and so dark he could just barely make out the shape of the sofa. Yamato pulled himself up onto it, and covered his shivering body with a knitted afghan. He groped around for the remote control, and then turned the television on.

Late-night news.

Infomercial.

Crazy game show.

Dorama rerun.

Then it landed on an enka performance. Yamato settled back into the couch cushions, tears making his eyesight a little blurry. His grandparents loved enka.

Every year, the Ishida family visited Hiroaki's parents in Kobe. Ishida Katsuro and his wife Akiko were devout Shintoists, very content with their quiet life and always overjoyed to see their grandchildren. Since Hiroaki had an older brother, sometimes Yamato got to see his cousins. But it wasn't like he ever spoke a word to them.

Yamato furiously scrubbed at his eyes, mad at himself for crying. _Girls _cried. Yamato _hated _girls.

But now he watched the woman onscreen. He recognized her immediately as Otowa Shinobu, quite young for an enka singer. (Well, according to his grandmother. Yamato wouldn't know much better.)

_'Yuki no mite…'_

Her voice was powerful, rather than pretty. The way her voice almost _shook _was what made Yamato prefer traditional enka to modern music. So maybe he didn't hate female enka singers.

By the time Otowa's song had ended, Yamato had fallen asleep on the sofa, his hand still loosely clutching the remote.

* * *

_"Enka?" Hiroko blurted in surprise. _

_Ishida shrugged. Now that Hiroko thought about it, it seemed to make perfect sense. Music critics had always noted Ishida Yamato for the odd way he sang- raw, hoarse, and with a quivering timbre in his voice._

_"Enka…" she murmured again. "How strange."_

_"Because it actually meant something," Yamato explained briefly. "Music has always been a part of me. I hated how singers could be famous just for being pretty, without any actual talent or heart. Enka was different. I got called an old geezer a lot as a kid."_

_"You're still an old geezer," Yuuki chided. "Always have been."_

_Ishida ignored her comment and continued gracefully, "My parents divorced soon after the fighting started. I think it only took a month. They split Takeru and me up."_

_Hiroko gasped. "No!"_

_"Yeah… Mom took him to Shinjuku. I didn't see Takeru much as a young kid. It was mainly just on holidays, when Mom would drop him off with Dad and me, or vice-versa with me visiting them. I hated Shinjuku. God, it was loud."_

_"So you stayed in Odaiba?"_

_"Yeah," Ishida sighed, "though we moved into a bigger flat when I was in sixth grade. I hated not being Taichi's neighbor anymore, but at least I got a room with a big window. And Dad didn't care if I played my harmonica, as long as I was quiet when he was working." _

_Yuuki snort-giggled. Ishida shot her a look._

_"I'm sorry," she laughed. "That just sounded funny."_

_"No more BL for you," Ishida snapped. _

_"Awwww, Dad!"_

* * *

"I'm not taking _cooking."_

"Yamato, come _on," _Taichi whined. "Please?"

"No."

"Why _not?"_

"It's a _girl _class, Taichi!"

"Getting free food isn't _girly, _it's _awesome!"_

Yamato groaned and rubbed at his forehead. He sat beneath the shade of a large oak tree, back-to-back with his best and only friend. Each held the packet of paperwork needed to make their schedules for seventh grade.

"You need one more exploratory class," Taichi pointed out. "You only have music and technology."

"What do _you _have, then?" Yamato asked a bit snappishly.

Taichi began reading his sloppy handwriting out loud. "I chose... cooking and double blocks of P.E."

"Wow, eating and soccer," Yamato said flatly. "How unpredictable."

Taichi shoved back against his friend playfully. "Shut up. You know if you don't fill your schedule out, they choose your classes for you."

Yamato shrugged. His mind drifted, and he was suddenly hyper-aware of Taichi's firm, muscled back against his own. The backs of their heads were touching, with Yamato's shaggy, silky hair blending into the fluffy mess on Taichi's head that probably hadn't been brushed in years.

They were in the park, relaxing on one of their final days of freedom before they started junior high. Yamato was fairly indifferent, but Taichi had been complaining up and down about their uniforms. (He seemed okay with everything else about middle school.) For a boy who had worn jerseys and athletic shorts his whole life, the stuffy school uniform was received with… mild distaste.

"Please take cooking with me?"

"No, Taichi."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

_"No!"_

"… Please?"

"OKAY, TAICHI, _FINE," _Yamato roared. _"DAMN." _

"Whoohoo!"

Yamato couldn't help but smirk a little as he copied _'cooking' _down onto his schedule. "You're such an obnoxious brat…"

"You loooooove me," Taichi responded in sing-song.

Yamato didn't answer. He tucked one side of his hair behind his ear, and furrowed his brow.

At age twelve, it was already obvious that Ishida Yamato was very, very good-looking. He wasn't attractive in a masculine way, though his facial features were strong and defined like his father. He had his mother's sharp eyes and graceful throat, and his body was still painfully thin. Yamato refused to cut his hair any shorter than his chin, where it hung in shiny layers, half-pulled back.

In short, Yamato was very _pretty._ He was especially so sitting beside Yagami Taichi. Not that the other boy was unattractive; his eyes were a warm, caramel color rather than the typical Japanese ebony, and his body was already lined with hard, wiry muscle from intense athletic training. But he was incredibly wild and unkempt, with hair that stuck up like he had jammed his finger in an electrical socket while soaking wet, and skin that was browned from the sun, covered in scabs and bruises.

"I hope we're in the same homeroom," Taichi murmured. He shifted a little, and Yamato felt a ripple of sinew against his shoulders. The pale boy bit his lip to hold in a soft moan.

He was in love with Taichi. Yamato had quite possibly known this since he had learned what love _was. _It burned him deep inside, the intensity of what he felt for his friend. Nothing else was as true or as constant in Yamato's life… so as long as Taichi was by his side, Yamato would keep sacrificing everything to keep him there.

And Taichi could never know.

* * *

The problems started soon enough, when Yamato's father felt the inherent need to humiliate his son over a previously quiet dinner of Chinese takeout.

"Son, do you know what sex is?"

Yamato violently choked on his dumpling, and Hiroaki waited patiently (if not a little nervously) for his son to recover.

"W-what?"

"Sex," Hiroaki said calmly. "I know that kids today are growing up very fast, and I just want to make sure I get to you before some trash on the television or internet does."

"I know what sex is, Dad," Yamato mumbled. He pushed his food around his plate, suddenly not very hungry anymore.

"You do?"

"… Sort of. Mostly."

"So, you've… had thoughts?"

_"Dad!" _

"Yamato, I'm just asking!" Hiroaki held up his hands in a defensive manner. "It's perfectly normal for a boy your age to wonder about sex."

Yamato was silent. Then, "I'm never gonna have sex." He started eating again, though his eyes were cold.

Hiroaki raised an eyebrow. "Why not? It's a good thing, Ya--"

"I'm not _going _to!" the boy shouted. At his father's surprise, he sobered a bit. "You know I don't like people. I don't want to _touch _people either."

"Well, son, maybe not right _now, _but eventually--"

"I'm done." Yamato dropped his chopsticks and collected his dishes. "Thanks for dinner, Dad. I'm going to bed."

"Yamato!" Hiroaki called after his son.

"Goodnight."

Yamato closed his bedroom door behind him, heart pounding, and slid to the ground.

Of course he knew what sex was. He was _twelve, _for God's sake… and with the way the world worked today…

Yamato was not a very touchy-feely person. He had once smacked Takeru across the face out of reflex for hugging him. (Of course, Yamato immediately apologized and felt awful. Takeru understood.)

But… _Taichi _touching him was completely different. The shorter boy (yes, Taichi was a little shorter; the hair gave him the illusion of being just as tall as his friend) could send electricity up Yamato's spine just by brushing his shoulder. It was becoming a constant, irritating distraction to Yamato.

He quickly dressed for bed and brushed his teeth, glancing briefly at himself in the mirror. Girls liked him. They gave him chocolate on Valentine's Day (which of course was never reciprocated the following month, much to their dismay) and were constantly giggling behind his back about how _gorgeous _he was.

Yamato examined himself more closely. He was bone-thin and pale as a sheet, with cold eyes and hair that was too pretty and shiny to be a boy's. His boxers were nearly falling off of his narrow, jutting hipbones.

Yamato glared at this reflection, and then violently spit his toothpaste out into the sink.

* * *

The first dream took place at Taichi's house, on the family's beat-up sofa.

_Yamato and Taichi were watching TV, which basically meant that the TV was on and Taichi was talking over it. Yamato didn't mind. He never minded. Taichi was better than TV anyway. _

_Suddenly, Taichi stopped his speech about how fun roller coasters were, and hesitantly reached out to skim his fingers over the lily-white underside of Yamato's forearm. His touch was hot and fleeting, and then their eyes met._

_"Ne, Yamato," Taichi said. Somehow, the noise of the television faded away, and all Yamato could see and hear was Taichi. "Is it okay if I touch you?"_

_"You're already touching me," Yamato dared to whisper. His heart was now lodged somewhere in the vicinity of his throat, hammering in his ears. He gulped hard._

_Taichi chuckled, and then began to lean in. "No, stupid. I mean like this…" _

_His hands dropped, gently lifting up the hem of Yamato's thin tee shirt. Yamato gasped sharply, as warm lips pressed against his throat. Taichi's hands spread out across his belly and began to caress the sensitive skin there. _

_"You taste good," Taichi murmured against his jawline. His hands moved up Yamato's back, burning a trail and making Yamato hiss. Then his lips found Yamato's pulse and began sucking gently._

_"A-ah!" Yamato squirmed, trying to find something to hold onto. It ended up being Taichi's hair. He buried his fingers in the thick, fluffy mess and lost himself in sensation. _

_Damn... he was crying… It felt so perfect, so exquisitely _right _to have Taichi touching him like this. Every nerve in his body was on fire. Every inch of his body begged for more, to feel Taichi a-- _

_**BEEEEEEEEP-- **_

Yamato cried out at the blaring of his alarm clock, promptly falling out of bed with an ungraceful _thud._

He cursed quietly, rubbing at his sleep-caked eyes and sitting up a little. His sheets were pooled around him, still cool and damp with his sweat.

It was in this way that Yamato began his first day of junior high: frazzled, aggravated, and very much unlike his usual cool, composed self. He managed to shower and fix his hair without a hitch, though he couldn't help but notice how tired he looked. He slipped into the school uniform that hadn't even been opened yet, fastening the brass buttons… then abruptly changed his mind and left the front of the jacket open, exposing his white tee shirt.

Hiroaki had already left for work, so Yamato's departure from home was silent. He stopped by the Ai-Mart to purchase his usual: hot tea and a pre-packaged bento for his lunch.

Momoe, the ditzy girl whose family owned the convenience store, always greeted Yamato in the exact same way.

"Hey, cutie!"

Yamato grunted in reply, and pulled a thousand-yen bill from his wallet.

"Ooh, wow!" Momoe squealed. "You look so handsome in your uniform! I didn't know you started school today, Yamato-kun!"

_Why did I tell you my name again? _"Everyone starts school today," Yamato mumbled. "Can I have my change, please?"

"'Course!" Momoe giggled. She rang up his tea and bento, and counted out his change with surprising deftness for one so spacey.

Yamato continued his walk to the bus station from there in relative peace.

* * *

Odaiba Middle School was not prestigious in any way. Not that it was a _bad _school; it just wasn't exactly new and shiny. The teachers were disgruntled, and the students weren't very motivated.

Yamato didn't mind. School meant he had the opportunity to see Taichi every day, so that was a good thing. As soon as he reached his classroom, 5-B, he began scoping the room for the head of crazy hair he knew too well.

He found Taichi immediately, sitting on a desk in the back and chatting with a girl. His jacket was also unbuttoned, but the shirt underneath wasn't even white; it was blue. His sleeves were rolled up, and his eyes sparkled when he saw his best friend.

God, he was so beautiful.

"Oi, Yamato!" Taichi called. "Come and meet Sora-chan!"

Yamato slowly made his way to the back of the room, eyeing this newcomer. 'Sora-chan' was, first and foremost, a girl. A girl who was talking to Taichi. A girl Taichi called _'-chan'. _That sent an angry shock through Yamato, and any other good things about her were instantly nullified.

"I'm Takenouchi Sora," the girl said. "My family just moved here about a week ago. _Yoroshiku onegaishimasu." _

Sora spoke in soft, melodic Kyoto-ben. She was a little shorter than Yamato, about Taichi's height, and in Yamato's opinion was exceedingly plain-looking. Her hair was straight and cut in the popular shoulder-length style. Her eyes were small, and she was rather shapeless.

Yamato grunted in acknowledgement, but didn't introduce himself. He took the seat beside Taichi and stared straight ahead.

Taichi scowled. "Oh, come on." He turned to the girl from Kyoto, and flashed her a dazzling smile. "Don't mind him, Sora-chan. This guy has a stick up his ass, but he's my best friend. His name's Ishida Yamato. We grew up together."

_Don't smile like that at her! _"Where's the teacher?" Yamato asked rather snappishly.

"She was in here a minute ago," Taichi answered. "Said she had to go make some copies or something."

Then Sora spoke up again: _"Ano sa… _Ishida-kun, what exploratory classes are you taking this semester?"

Yamato did not reply. He just fixed her with his best and most condescending scowl, which in turn made her sink back into her chair.

"Yamato!" Taichi cried. "Jeez, man, what's wrong with you? Sora-chan's new, and you're being an asshole!"

"You know I'm an asshole," Yamato replied angrily. "You've known that since we were five."

"That doesn't give you the right to be rude to new students!" Taichi hopped off of the desk he sat upon, and moved to stand in front of his friend's. "What's with you lately?"

The young athlete almost looked saddened. It was heart-wrenching enough for Yamato to look away and mutter a rough "Sorry…"

His apology made Taichi relax a little "S'fine. I understand how you can get. But… I _am _allowed to have other friends, you know."

_No, you're not. _"I know."

* * *

_Yuuki looked mildly uncomfortable, and she interrupted her father's story with a stuttered question: "Y-you... went to middle school with her?"_

_"I've told you that before, haven't I?" Ishida frowned. "I'm sorry, Yuu-chan. Yeah, I met Sora in seventh grade."_

_Confused, Hiroko put her pen down for a moment. "Takenouchi Sora-san… Is she someone important?"_

_Yuuki blinked. "Well, yeah… I mean, she's the one who--"_

_"No," Ishida interrupted. "She's not important." _

_At the meaningful look shared between father and daughter, Hiroko felt that she was missing out on something very vital. _

_But it wasn't her place to go snooping around. _

_"Please continue, Ishida-san."_

* * *

**Author's Notes **

* * *

**-Mm… I don't really know what I feel about this chapter. When I was re-reading it, it seemed almost… schizophrenic. XD I don't know how to explain it better. In any case, it's been finished for about a week now; I've just been tweaking it. I figured I'd start getting "OH GOD YOU HAVENT DIED AGAIN RITE??" emails if I didn't update soon. So, here you go! Hope you don't think it's weird. (Sorry it's shorter than the last one! I'll make the next chapter longer to make up for it.)**

**-Does anyone know if Yamato's father's name is Masaharu or Hiroaki? I prefer Hiroaki, but I've heard that both are correct, and I'm wondering which is the right one to use. If it's Masaharu, I'll go back and change it. :)**

**-I'm not very familiar with Kansai-ben, so please correct any mistakes in Sora's speech pattern for me. Since her father works at Kyoto University in the canon universe, I thought it'd be neat to make her family from Kyoto in this story. For those who don't know, Kyoto-ben (a Japanese dialect spoken in… well, Kyoto) is much softer and more polite than the Tokyo variety (which is what I've studied.) Originally I had her introduce herself with **_**"Yoroshuu tanomimangana," **_**until I was informed by a friend that a.) it's Osaka-ben, not Kyoto-ben, and b.) that expression is outdated anyway; most people use the regular **_**"Yoroshiku onegaishimasu." **_

**-For the record, I'm pretty sure Japanese students don't get to choose their own schedules… but it was for the sake of the plot. Gomen, gomen. (-sweatdrop-) I hate being inaccurate… **

**-Okay, now- about updates! At the moment, guys, I'm positive I can give you at **_**least **_**monthly chapters that are twelve pages long without adding author's notes. I'm working this summer, and in the mornings I babysit my younger brothers while my dad and stepmom work opposite shifts. So, trust me, I'm writing whenever I possibly can! When school starts up for me again, I'll be able to write more. (Funny how that works, isn't it?) What I usually do is sit in the back of the room and write down ideas in a notebook, then come straight home and type them. (My teachers just think I'm taking really thorough notes. They're probably wondering why I'm a straight B-and-C student…)**

* * *

**Replies to Reviewers**

* * *

**DarkMetalAngel of Destruction: **Thank you so much! Unfortunately, the cuteness is pretty much over. It's all angst from here on out.

**splintered: **I love hearing about readers' specific favorite parts. Thank you for the detailed review!

**krad:** Thank you. X3 I have four younger brothers, and I sort of modeled chibi-Tai after the youngest… He's a spastic goofball too.

**Devildelivery: **Since "Miko" is a female name, I'm assuming the cat is a girl. I did notice that I accidentally called her 'him' once. My bad. I fixed it.  
And I guess it's time for me to go back and re-watch the entire first season, because I really don't remember seeing Susumu in anything but the beginning of _Bokura no War Game, _when Taichi and Hikari were younger. I know he was very drunk then, and Yuuko was trying to keep him away from the kids… Thank you for telling me, though. I'll check up on that. And thank you for the review!

**Courage Sun: **Mm, maybe not _kill _you in your sleep, probably more like glare very intensely in your direction and think nasty thoughts. XD Thanks for reviewing! (For the record, Taichi would definitely hug you back.)

**Syrinx Flute: **Thank you so much for catching that mistake! When I looked back and saw that you were right, I had a major headdesk moment… No worries, though. 'Tis fixed. :3 Another big thank you for the review and the fav!

**ranmyaku-neko: **At the moment I'm doing monthly updates with this story, but I'll probably do twice-a-month after I get on a roll. :) Thank you for reviewing!

**Much Love,  
Tisbee**


	4. Chapter Three: Girl

**

* * *

**

Glittering Wind

Chapter Three

**

* * *

**

_Everything I can see_

_And everything I can touch_

_May not be real_

_But I am definitely here_

Perfume- "Electro World"

* * *

_I'm worried about you, Yamato. _

The note was handed to Yamato by Takamura, but he knew it wasn't from her. It was Taichi's handwriting. Besides, who else could possibly be worried about Ishida Yamato? He was the skinny, angry guy who followed Yagami around like a dog. Most people either feared his temper or admired his pretty face- from afar, of course.

It wasn't the first time Taichi had mentioned his concern for his friend's health. Yamato had always been too thin for his height, but when Taichi had cornered him in his bathroom and counted every one of Yamato's ribs (out loud), the situation got out of hand.

_"I'm fine, Taichi."_

_"You're not _fine! _You look like an anorexic person!"_

Unfortunately, they had learned about eating disorders in health class earlier that week, and Taichi immediately came to the conclusion that Yamato was starving himself.

For the record… he was.

"Ishida," Katsura-sensei snapped from the front of the classroom. "Pay attention."

Yamato's response was a frigid glare. The teacher flinched, then continued with her history lecture in a slightly less confidant tone.

Perhaps 'starving himself' was too harsh a term. He did eat dinner, mainly because it was the only time he had with his dad. Hiroaki left for work before the sun was even up, and dragged himself home after it had set. After figuring out that he was rather good at cooking (in that damn class Taichi forced him to take), Yamato felt responsible for providing his father with at least two decent meals a day. Hiroaki's lunch was always waiting for him in the morning (Yamato prepared it before going to bed and left it in the fridge.) and dinner was on the table when he got home. It was morbidly reminiscent of Natsuko's tending to her husband, but with more scowling and less pleasant conversation.

In any case, Yamato soon grew tired of making two lunches, and he rarely ate at school anyway. He usually just sat and stared at his food while Taichi and Sora chatted. Good food offered him little comfort anymore.

So he stopped making lunch, and that saved him time. He weaned himself off of breakfast, which saved him time, money, and his daily "Hey, cutie!" What little body fat Yamato had was soon shed, leaving him a brooding skeleton in the corner. It took Taichi a while to notice, but that boy was so dense he walked right past the train station at least twice a week.

Taichi was concerned, which made Yamato feel the tiniest bit of contentment. Then _Sora _voiced her own concern, and that contentment withered and died, replaced with yet another level of burning hatred for the girl.

As the star player on Odaiba Middle's soccer team, Taichi was very popular. Even if he wasn't an athlete this would have been true; it was near-impossible _not _to like Taichi. He was a goofy, cheerful, lovable dork with the biggest grin (and the biggest hair) in school. Hell, even the teachers adored him, despite his mediocre grades and love for abusing the dress code. He made them smile. He made _everybody _smile.

The bell rang to signal the end of second period. Immediately the classroom was abuzz with chatter, as Katsura-sensei sighed and began packing her things up.

"Alright, everyone," she hollered over the commotion, "don't forget your test on Friday! Study hard!"

A few students droned a long _"Haaaaai!"_ but for the most part she was ignored.

"Yo, Yamato." Taichi swung himself on top of his friend's desk, letting his legs hang idly on either side. He fixed his friend with a disapproving look, which Yamato returned hesitantly.

"You don't have to worry about me," Yamato grumbled, in reference to the note.

Taichi narrowed his eyes. "Of course I do. You sure as hell don't worry about yourself. Look at you, man; you're wasting away."

Yamato ground his teeth together, trying to look anywhere but Taichi's face. He settled on his friend's arms… which were muscled and wiry and tanned to a perfect shade of brown, and that didn't help Yamato's situation at all and _damn, _Taichi had gorgeous arms…

"Why do you even care?" Yamato finally snapped. "God, you'd be so much better off without me anyway…"

Taichi looked like he had just been punched. "What?! Dude, where are you getting this shit? Have we or have we not been best friends since _kindergarten?" _

"We have…" Yamato muttered. "But I don't--"

"What? You don't _want _to be my friend anymore?!"

"No! That's not--"

"Oh, so you don't?"

"Goddamn it, Taichi!" Yamato roared, ignoring the horrified expressions from their classmates. "Stop cutting me off! This has nothing to do with you! It's my own fucking problem, okay?!"

Yamato was breathing hard. Taichi leaned back a little, looking more sad than angry now.

"But why can't you talk to _me _about it?" he asked quietly. "I thought… I mean, short of a psychiatrist, wouldn't I be the best person for you to talk to? Aren't we as close as I like to think we are?"

The thinner boy bit his lip.

The class bell rang again, and Taichi turned back around after a final sigh.

Yamato hadn't realized how hard he had been clenching his fists until he looked down. His eyes widened a little. There were little crescent-shaped cuts all along his palm, with tiny rivulets of blood trickling down his wrists.

Next to him, Sora gasped. "Ishida-kun! Are you alright?"

Yamato ignored her.

* * *

It wasn't until a few months later that Yamato felt the first tugs of insanity. Snow was falling lightly outside, powdery and romantic. It was a very picturesque Valentine's Day.

Yamato sat staring out the window, eyes feeling heavy. He hadn't slept well the previous night. His father had been out working late, and the next-door-neighbor yelled at him to shut the hell up when he started playing his harmonica out on the balcony. His CD player's battery was dead, and his sheets needed to be cleaned, but they were out of laundry detergent…

So he had ended up falling asleep on the sofa, watching enka performers yet again. Yamato couldn't care less if normal teenagers watched doramas and MTV. It wasn't like anything else he did was considered normal.

But on this morning, Yamato would've given quite a bit to be like the other eighth-graders of Class B. After his sixth confession and gift of handmade chocolate, he felt drained and fed-up with turning girls down. They just got stupider each time, too.

"Whoo," Taichi whistled, approaching his friend's desk and raising an eyebrow at the veritable pile of candy Yamato had amassed. "Someone's popular, as always."

"You want it?" Yamato asked curtly. "You could share it with the soccer team or something."

"You don't want any?"

"Do I ever?"

Taichi shrugged and sat beside his friend. "Maybe you should be a little kinder. I mean, would it be so bad to have a girlfriend?" He picked up one of the boxes and examined the card. "Eri-chan's cute."

Yamato glared. Taichi backed down, chuckling.

They both looked up as Sora approached. Her face was bright red, and she coughed a little. She was hiding something behind her back.

"Ah… T-Taichi-kun, I was wondering… I mean, I don't know if you… that is to say, I…"

Taichi laughed. "Spit it out, Sora-chan!"

Beside him, Yamato's heard plummeted. Oh, God, no, it couldn't be…

"Well…" Shyly, Sora, pulled a white box tied with a red ribbon out and held it up for Taichi's inspection. "I'm not a very good cook, but I tried my best, and my mom helped. So…"

_No._

"… please…"

_No, don't._

"… accept this chocolate I made."

_Taichi…_

Taichi's eyes bugged out. "Whoa, Sora-chan… seriously? Thanks!"

Sora giggled and sat, watching with delight as Taichi popped one of the chocolates into his mouth.

The athlete grinned, teeth covered in the stuff. "These are super good, Sora-chan! Nice job!"

"Oh, thank you! I'm so glad!"

The conversation between the pair faded away, and Yamato felt frozen.

_Of course. Of course. I should have seen this coming. Maybe, in a way, I did. Takenouchi's sweet and cheerful, and she likes soccer. How many times have I had to avoid her at Taichi's games? _

_So… so they… _

Yamato pushed his chair back and stood, quivering.

Taichi and Sora blinked.

"Ishida-kun…?"

"Yamato?" Taichi reached out with fingers covered in chocolate. "Dude, you alright?"

"I-I think I'm gonna throw up," Yamato managed, then dashed out the door.

* * *

He ended up on the roof somehow. It was surprisingly easy to get there. Yamato wondered faintly if the staff was planning on doing anything about that.

Having left his jacket in his seat, Yamato shivered and crossed his arms. He paced across the rooftop several times in an attempt to clear his throbbing head.

Before him stretched the expanse of Odaiba, gritty and covered in white powder. The sounds of traffic seemed almost muted. All felt still.

The tears clinging to Yamato's long eyelashes froze quickly, and his runny nose soon felt raw.

_Will anything ever be okay again?_

Then he stopped pacing.

_… Was anything ever okay to begin with?_

Yamato sat on the edge of the roof, rhythmically clenching and unclenching his fingers around his scrawny legs.

He wanted to scream.

He couldn't speak.

He wanted to die.

He wanted to play songs on his harmonica.

He wanted to be with Taichi.

He wanted Taichi to have the best friend he deserved.

_My life isn't that bad. _Yamato's mind began to reel. _I have a dad who works himself to the bone trying to support me. My mom still has love for me (somewhere), and I have a cute kid brother who's always trying to cheer me up. _

_I have Taichi. I've never been anything but a depressing nuisance to him, but he still keeps me around. And Takenouchi is friendly to me. _

"Because she likes Taichi," Yamato whispered to himself.

_Those two… _

* * *

Yamato didn't leave the rooftop until the sun had set. He might have fallen asleep once or twice.

No one ever came looking for him.

* * *

"Yamato," Hiroaki hollered from the den, "what's for dinner?"

The boy paused in his precise chopping of vegetables and wiped some sweat from his brow.

"Yakisoba," he answered.

"Oh, good. We haven't had that in a while."

In the back of his mind, Yamato guiltily realized that it was a dish his mother used to make quite frequently. But since Takeru was visiting that night, Yamato had wanted to cook something special.

He pushed the chopped carrots to one side and grabbed a head of cabbage. The doorbell rang, and Yamato barely had time to turn before he was landed with an armful of Takeru.

_"Oniichan!" _the younger boy shrieked, hopping up and down in his exuberance. "I haven't seen you in months and months and months!"

"One month," Yamato murmured. He awkwardly patted the top of Takeru's head.

The little boy beamed up at him. His face was starting to look older- not pudgy with baby fat like Yamato was used to. And he was already eye-to-chest with his brother at age eight.

"You're getting so tall, kiddo," Yamato said quietly.

Takeru nodded. "Uh-huh! I'm the tallest kid in my class, you know!"

Yamato snorted and ruffled his sibling's hair. "Go hang out with Dad for a little bit while I finish dinner, okay?"

"Hehe…" Takeru's eyes glinted mischievously. "You're like a mom, Oniichan!"

Yamato nearly dropped his spoon. "I… what?"

"You're a lot like a mom." With a smile that looked wise beyond his years, Takeru slowly backed out of the kitchen. "Sometimes… sometimes I wish you were my mom instead of my brother."

The older boy cleared his throat sharply. "Don't say stupid things, Takeru."

"Okay…"

As soon as Takeru was gone, Yamato rubbed his temples. What the _hell? _Honestly, where did that kid get such weird thoughts…?

Takeru was so intelligent already. Yamato was constantly amazed. Occasionally the grade-schooler would blurt out witticisms that seemed almost impossible.

Quickly, Yamato adjusted the stovetop's heat, lest he start burning the oil.

* * *

_"Taichi officially started dating Sora later that year," Ishida said quietly. His voice was hardly louder than the sound of Hiroko's pen busily scratching away. "I… didn't do so hot after that. Everything basically went downhill." _

_The phone rang again. Yuuki went to answer it, oddly silent. _

_"What do you mean?" Hiroko asked the former idol. _

_Ishida would not meet her eyes for a few moments. When he finally did, his gaze was hollow._

* * *

Koizumi, the school's counselor, fussed with her blouse for a moment before turning her attention back to the waif of a boy before her.

"Ah… Ishida Yamato-kun, right?"

Yamato nodded shortly.

"And which high school are you aiming for, Ishida-kun?" she asked sweetly.

He shrugged.

Koizumi surveyed the student in her office critically. His teachers all said the same things: "Very bright. Not working to his full potential. No respect for authority." She had seen Yamato once or twice before, usually when she was making copies and he was sitting outside the principal's office. He was always glaring.

Quietly, Koizumi took a seat behind her desk and looked Yamato in the eye. "Ishida-kun, how are things at home?"

"Fine," he snapped.

Yamato's collarbones jutted out, and it almost looked like every vein in his white throat was visible. His uniform was hanging off of his frail body like a sheet.

"… Alright," Koizumi murmured. "You're doing well in your classes, Ishida-kun. I suppose you have a good chance of getting into any high school you try for."

Yamato nodded shortly, then turned to go.

"Ah… Ishida-kun?"

He glanced back over his shoulder.

Koizumi bit her lip. There was something about this boy that frightened her.

"… You should c-cut your hair. It's getting to be a dress code violation."

Yamato's lip curled. He left without another word.

* * *

Yet again, he ended up on the roof. This time, however, he was quite surprised to see someone else already standing near the edge.

It was a slim, frizzy-haired girl he had seen a few times before. She wasn't in his class, but she had friends who fancied themselves in love with Yamato. Her skin was tan, and her nails were painted black.

The girl was leaning on the fence, eyes closed like she was having a pleasant dream. Her skirt was rolled up so high that Yamato was very sure she too was violating the dress code. Somehow he didn't get the impression that this girl cared.

Yamato coughed, and her eyes opened. They simply stared at each other for a long, silent moment, before she smiled warily.

"I'm sorry. This is your spot, right?"

Yamato shrugged. "It's fine. It's not like my name's on it."

The girl chuckled and turned around so she was facing the horizon. "I see you come up here all the time. You skip a lot of classes, don't you?"

Yamato shrugged again.

"All of my friends think you're really cool," she continued. "You just give off this aura of not-caring. Or something like that. It's like nothing can hurt you."

Yamato had to laugh dryly at this. "A lot of things can hurt me."

"Yeah…" The girl trailed off. Her gaze was distant and unfocused. "Nobody's invincible, right?"

There was a cool breeze. Yamato took a few steps closer to the girl and nodded to her uniform. "Aren't you cold?"

"A little," she replied faintly.

"Why the hell do you girls wear your skirts so short?" Yamato asked a little snappishly. "It's dumb. If the principal doesn't catch you, you're just gonna end up flashing everyone when the wind picks up."

The girl blinked at him. "You know, most boys would think that was a _positive _thing."

Yamato snorted. By this point he was standing next to her, also leaning on the fence a little. "Yeah, well, I'm not most boys I guess."

After a few more seconds of introspection, the girl faced him.

"Are you gay?" she blurted.

Yamato froze.

"No, no, no, I mean…" She stumbled over her words hurriedly. "I mean, I don't care. I'm just curious. I guess I have no right asking you that, seeing as we just met, an--"

"Technically we haven't met yet," Yamato said. "I still don't know _your _name."

She quickly nodded her head, then threw a short, awkward bow. "Sorry, you're right. I'm Motomiya Jun. _Yoroshiku."_

_"Yoroshiku," _Yamato muttered. "And I don't really know if I'm gay or not. It doesn't matter to me particularly."

Jun tilted her head the one side. "Doesn't matter? That's kind of important, though, don't you think?"

He shrugged. "Not to me. I don't think I'll ever have feelings for anyone else anyway."

"Anyone… else?"

"Yeah." Yamato fixed her with an odd look. "Why are you asking me these questions?"

Jun did not answer. Her dark eyes fell to the ground, and her next words were so quiet Yamato almost did not hear them over the wind.

"Ishida-kun… do you think I'm pretty?"

Rather than give in to the surprise he felt at such a random inquiry, Yamato examined the girl.

Jun was not astoundingly beautiful, no, but there was a certain sharp loveliness to her face, and her neck was rather long and graceful. Her skin was dry from tanning, and her ears were a little large. But all in all…

"You're pretty," Yamato said. "But why does that matter? You shouldn't care so much about what other people think."

Jun's eyes became oddly glassy. "Thank you, Ishida-kun. I know it shouldn't be important, but I just wanted to hear it once."

Yamato felt an odd shiver at her choice of words, but he shrugged it off and turned to leave. "See you around, Motomiya-san."

"… Thank you, Ishida-kun," she said again. "Thank you."

Her voice faded into the wind as Yamato walked back down the stairs that led to the real world.

* * *

_Hiroko jumped at the sound of the doorbell ringing. Yuuki went to tend to this, then returned moments later with a package. _

_"Dad, my new cleats are here. I'm gonna go try them out, okay? Is the goal set up in the backyard?" _

_Ishida nodded and waved her off. _

_Hiroko smiled. "Your daughter plays soccer?" _

_"Yeah," Ishida sighed. "You could say she _breathes _soccer. It's in her blood, though. I guess I'm not surprised." _

* * *

The school was abuzz with frantic gossip the next morning when Yamato entered. He took his jacket off and hung it over his chair, raising an eyebrow.

"Yo, Yamato!" Taichi waved him over. He was standing with Sora next to one of the girl's friends, who was crying softly.

"What's going on?" Yamato asked.

Taichi looked shocked. "You mean you don't know? It was all over the news this morning."

"What?"

"It…" Sora cleared her throat and patted her friend on the shoulder. "One of the girls from class 5-A committed suicide yesterday."

"That's terrible," Yamato mumbled.

Sora's friend let out a sob, scrubbing at her eyes furiously. "W-w-we all knew something was w-wrong! She just got so _thin, _a-and she never talked about her home life, b-but we all knew she fought with her parents! And after Honda-kun broke up with her, she was _so _upset…"

Something was not quite right here.

"How did she die?" Yamato dared to ask.

The girl sniffled and looked up with red-rimmed eyes.

"Jun-chan jumped off the roof of the school yesterday, during the conference period. She told us she was going to buy a drink, but she never came back."

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**

* * *

  
**

**I can't apologize enough for my long absence, guys. As soon as school began I got swamped with AP work and play rehearsals. ****Now I have a short break here during the holidays, so hopefully I'll be able to get a few more chapters planned out, if not written. Thank you to everyone who's still with me! :)**

**A couple of FAQs about the story: **

**Q: Who is Yuuki's mother? **

**A: GABUMON. (-shot-) Haha, seriously, though, you'll find out in due time. I swear that I have her parentage all figured out. Yuuki is the result of a series of very unfortunate circumstances, but in the end everyone comes out for the better because of her birth. :)**

**Q: Why doesn't Yamato end up with Taichi after all this shit you're putting him through?! **

**A: … When did I say they didn't end up together? **

**Q: Will this contain Sorato? **

**A: Not a bit. It wouldn't work into the plot I've envisioned at all. **

**Q: What about (insert pairing here)? **

**A: Okey-dokey, guys, the couples that I will use in this story have already been decided. Taichi/Yamato (main), Taichi/Sora, Jyou/Mimi, and a Daisuke/Ken/Miyako triangle. There is very little chance of me deviating from these. **

* * *

**Replies to Reviewers**

* * *

**Sumi19: **Thank you so much! (Don't worry; your English is great. You have better grammar than most _native _English speakers I know.)

**born a dreamer:** Long, detailed reviews like yours mean the _world _to me. I'm just like you in the way that I never know what to say in a review… but thank you for telling me. It made me so happy I had to go hug something.

**HIKED: **Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. :)

**DarkMetalAngel of Destruction: **(-is tackled-) Hehe, thanks! I tried to balance out the angst with a sprinkling of cuteness…

**Devildelivery: **Sorato has always bothered me as well. That's one less thing for you to worry about, though; there will definitely not be anything of that nature between Yamato and Sora in _this _fanfic.  
Ooh, and you figured out Yuuki's name origin. I was hoping someone would. :D Thank you for reviewing!

**Courage Sun: **… You're going to share that cereal, aren't you? (-eyebrow waggle-) And Dai has no right to accuse you of sugar-overdose. That kid makes Taichi look zen.  
I'm thrilled that you like the story so much! :D Yes, poor Yamato is all in love and stuff. Only gets worse from here on out, too.

**Syrinx Flute: **I _like_ this review glitch! 8D Heehee, just kidding… Y'know, I hadn't thought of adding flashbacks later, but now that you mention it, that may actually be a neat idea. Glad you like it so far; thanks for reviewing (three times)!

**krad: **WAIT NO LONGER! Thank you for reviewing!

**Necratoholic: **This story hasn't even been up for very long, so no worries. :D I'm glad you like it so much! And yeah, Taichi's family problems are over for the most part. I don't want this fic to lean too heavily on the "abusive parent" subplot. Thank you for reviewing!

**Vikertee: **Yeah, I've been getting a lot of questions about Yuuki and her birth parents. Don't give up hope on a Yamachi ending, though. You might be surprised! (Oh, and thank you so much for reviewing! X3)

**Saja: **Hmm... Thanks! :) I'll be sure to look that up later.

**Arty Sayres: **I'm not _quite _dead yet! Thank you for the encouragement. I really have had absolutely no time to write since school started, but I'm going to try harder to make time from now on.

**Plain Game: **Domo arigatou gozaimasu! "Natural" is one of the top things I'm concerned about, actually. My biggest fanfic turnoff is when the story becomes completely unbelievable. (Oh, and for some reason Edit/Preview keeps deleting the "." in your name. Weird.)

**AnimeFreak4261: **Well, I don't want to give too much away... No, Tai never hates Sora. That isn't to say he ever _loves _her, though. And, GOD, no crossdressing Yamato! D: The very thought makes me want to cry. What horrible circumstances would lead up to that...? (In all honesty though, I can totally see Taichi doing it. XD Can't you?

**Much Love,  
Tisbee**

**p.s.- Does anyone else watch _Junjou Romantica? _Because I'm kind of freaking obsessed with it right now. Nowaki is my anti-drug. :3  
**


End file.
